Overcoming overwhelm

Our mind is said to be the most powerful tool we have.

Think about the things you have created using this tool.

But yet, sometimes the same mind makes you feel overwhelmed. Your thoughts start to consume you, instead of you using them.

And what do you do at the time?

Most probably distract your mind with something or someone.

Now, there is nothing wrong with it if you binge for a couple of hours or talk to someone, feel relaxed and get back to your routine.

But that was not my case.

I used to binge on YT all day when I felt overwhelmed. Sometimes this routine went on for days or even weeks. When we’re so much into avoiding the overwhelm we don’t even realise when our routine gets changed.

How do you deal with it then?

Let’s first understand this…

Our mind loves pleasure and hates pain by default. So when you’re feeling overwhelmed it’s painful for your mind and it seeks the next easy pleasure which you know of i.e. binge-watching or any instant gratification instead of facing the problem.

But what if you show your mind the consequences of escaping the problem?

Paint a picture of your disturbed routine, unable to focus on work or enjoy with family, being dull and slacking. If you can clearly see the pain in the consequences then your mind will naturally try to avoid it without you having to force it out.

Okay, so now where do you divert your attention?

To yourself.

If you have the patience to read this then you definitely can take a couple of minutes to patiently listen to yourself.

I mean what’s more important than understanding what’s inside your mind?

Here’s how I do it:

1. Write down your thoughts

We are basically trying to brain-dump here. Vent out all our thoughts in writing. It will help you feel a little lighter. And it’s easier to face your thoughts on paper than on your mind.

2. Sit with your pain

The problem is when you try to face your pain, it overpowers you. And that makes you avoid it.

So imagine it as an uninvited guest. And you’re sitting with it for a coffee trying to understand why it has come to you.

When you see it as a temporary guest which will go away soon, it removes all your fear of it. You slowly start getting comfortable with it.

3. Get to the root cause

Questioning “WHY” is my fav way to get to the root cause of any problem. I’m taking the example of loneliness:

1. Why am I feeling lonely?

2. Is it because I’m not in a relationship?
   But even people in relationships too experience loneliness and many who are alone are actually quite happy.

3. What is the cause of loneliness?

4. Is it my feeling of incompleteness?

5. Am I really incomplete?

6. But is anyone really born incomplete?

7. If not then how did I get this idea on my mind?
   Most probably you have been conditioned with this idea by movies and tv shows.

8. Without this idea, where is loneliness or suffering?

This is how you can keep removing the layers of limiting beliefs and get to reality.

4. See the reality

Seeing reality is nothing but seeing things as it is.

Without any filters, assumptions, beliefs or preconceived notions. And that’s why we questioned all our limiting beliefs in the previous step.

It’s like removing the covers of limiting beliefs. So now what’s left out is the reality. And there is no good or bad, positive or negative in reality.

When you’re able to see beyond all the labels you become peaceful.

5. Relax into it

Now relax into this understanding of the reality which has made you peaceful.

You feel a sense of stability in your emotions. Things start to slowly make sense. It’s not easy to describe it in words but you can surely experience it for yourself.

The beauty of questioning is that once you see the root cause or uncover the reality beneath your sufferings then slowly your suffering starts to dissolve on its own. You don’t even have to fight against it.

Just understanding it is enough.

And that wraps up this letter.

Until next week,

Ragav

PS: If you have any questions and want to have a chat then feel free to send me a DM on Twitter. I love connecting with people :)