Loneliness

Remember the last time you felt lonely?

If you are feeling it now, then don’t worry you are not alone. 52% of Americans report feeling lonely while 47% report their relationships with others are not meaningful.

You feel insecure and go through social anxiety. There is a sense of separation. Either you feel empty from within or your mind is bombarded with thoughts of why others aren’t paying attention to you.

“Feeling sad and unhappy about being socially isolated” - this is Google's definition.

But you know that the feeling of emptiness remains even when you’re surrounded by people. Loneliness is a feeling which doesn’t depend on money, fame or relationships. Even celebs who have all the money and fame go through this.

Have you ever questioned why you feel empty? Or what’s the real cause of loneliness?

Most probably not.

Instead, you look for escapes. You try to fill this emptiness with distractions.

The more you do this the more you confine yourself. And before you realise those distractions become your addictions.

You end up taking wrong decisions because your mind isn’t peaceful at all.

For example, if someone hurt you then:You start self-doubting your worth or you go to the other extreme of taking revenge. In either case, you will harm yourself more and more by getting attached to someone or something just to get over the feeling of loneliness.

Okay, now let’s get back to the important question.

Why do you feel lonely?

A simple reason can be you are dependent on someone for survival. Simple solution - become independent financially.

But the main reason is your dependence on someone else for happiness.

It can be anyone, your partner, your friend or even your foe lol.

If you closely observe you are only happy when the outside world appreciates you or likes you. Because of this you unknowingly keep asking for happiness from others. You are happy only when they fulfil your expectations.

Being lonely and being alone are not the same. You are being needy when you're lonely.

I was that needy person. I had great friends and a supportive family but still, I used to feel lonely.

It took me a long to realise this. But after realising it my loneliness soon turned into solitude.

I started loving my own company.

How do you love yourself?

Observe your thoughts:

Think of the times when you got amazing thoughts, it’s sometimes like entertainment. You don’t need an external source of entertainment when your mind can be one of the best entertainers.

Understand that you are complete:

No one can be black or white. Everyone is black and white. See the beauty in your flaws, perfection in your imperfections, and courage in your fears. Others can complement you but never complete you.

Take life lightly:

Stop giving too much importance to things.

For example, if you had a breakup, think about what was it like before you were in a relationship.

Things were good or bad?

Analyse your relationship. If it has to lead to a breakup then it means a lot of things were not going well.

So you should be happy or sad?

Think of it like a journey, first, you were at home, then you went for a trip to A (relationship), and the trip ended (breakup) now irrespective of the experience on the trip (good or bad) you are now peaceful back at home.

It's good that you didn't get trapped in A, now you can explore other countries and finally decide where you want to settle. Or you may decide to find peace at home (being single).

To wrap it up

Whether you like it or not, within this body you are always alone.

Why not embrace it?

Become one with the world. You will never feel lonely.

— Ragav